Fritters (fritters) wrote,

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Wisdom and Pimping, in that order...

At the risk of sounding like Baz Lurhmann or Mary Schmich I have a bit of advice for those out there younger than me, which is most of you.

The other day, at my cousin's wedding, I saw my first wrinkles. Helluva place to see them, surrounded by old relatives, showing you what the future holds...

I'd been lucky so far, and I admit it. 36 is a fantastic place to see them just beginning, I attribute it to genes and never getting the hell into the sunlight. As it is, they're laugh lines, just the ones I wanted to show up first. I was concerned with all my depression problems that the "worries" would show up first.

Still, they make you think. So enough about me.

You. You are (odds are) younger than me. You probably think you are ugly. Or too fat. Or too spotty. Or your hair does all the wrong things.

Quit it.

Youth is probably the most attractive thing on this planet. So, all your friends are cuter or thinner than you. You're still more attractive than 95% of the people on the planet, barring supermodels (who aren't really human anyways) because of that youth.

And I got dark news for you. (Sorry about that.) Unless you lose a LOT of weight or do something drastically different with your hair or get facial surgery, you look better than you ever will. Every year, you will look just a little less attractive.

I say this not to scare you. I say this so you will get out there and ENJOY it. Lord knows I didn't realize I was attractive in my 20's until I hit my 30's. I'm assuming I will look a lot less attractive in my 40's. It goes to reason.

So accessorize, dress up, put on makeup, do your hair, dance to Madonna songs, do whatever it is that makes you feel pretty/hot because it's WORTH it and you should enjoy every ounce of attention you get.

While were at it, get out there and do something. You know how your back hurts? Feet bothering you? Guess what. That aging thing I mentioned earlier? In ten years, it's just gonna be twice as bad. I have a friend who went to Egypt a few years back, even though she couldn't really afford it, and I didn't really understand why. Her excuse was in ten years she'd enjoy it less. I understand that now.

So. Put on some makeup and sunscreen and go to the beach.

In other news, I have some major pimpage. I've pimped these people before, but they deserve it, again. Some of you may be aware of those little fly-by-night book stores where everything is WAY STUPID discounted. We buy ourselves silly one day and then they disappear. Well, now there's a place like that online. That's not why they get a second pimp, though. I ordered some books for Martin's birthday and they got lost in the mail. I wrote them a panicky letter about how I NEEDED those books, and in just a few days, and how half of them didn't arrive (the package opened in Pittsburgh). They immediately sent me replacement books, no charge, superfast, and in time for his birthday. Excellent prices, superb customer service, and well deserving of your literary dollar.

Current Beverage: Light Hawaiian Punch in the can

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